Putting Christ back into counseling and counseling back into the church.
Scott Monkus 
Introduction. Boy, I wish I realized these principles and cautions in order to help promote healthy conversations when I was in my 20s. I wish I could say I came up with these because I saw the need for improvement in my own relationships (and there certainly was a need!). Rather, these 3 principles for … Read more
“Hey, Scott, You’re Doing It Wrong.” Thank God that we can learn big lessons from seemingly insignificant events that occur in our daily lives. One of the simplest, but most impactful examples for me happened on most weekdays. My wife, then a stay-at-home mom, with two young toddlers and me, a 7am – 5pm, Mon-Fri … Read more
I would like to start with a fictional, but very realistic, scenario. Imagine: My wife and I meet at a local Waffle House to discuss our annual family vacation plans. Kid-free, plus the privacy of a booth at 2:30 pm, all is quiet and we can focus. Besides, Waffle House serves up our favorite guilty … Read more
Listen to these two versions of the same brief conversation. The same words are uttered, but with two very different meanings and receptions. In the evening, my wife comes into my home office and politely reminds me, “Trash pickup is tomorrow morning, honey.” We both know by our relational routines and history together that this … Read more
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” is a lie we tell ourselves and the little ones in our lives. When was the last time you thought of your word choice? Especially with those we cherish? We carefully choose our words with new clients more than with our loved … Read more
Remember, anger is judgmental by nature. We voice displeasure in our anger through words and deeds. It says, “I am against that _______,” fill in the blank. However, when you know you’re upset for the right reasons, how do you express anger in the right ways compared to your old destructive ways? When you witness … Read more
Let me know if this sounds familiar? As a Christian in the past, your sins have been forgiven. In the future when you die, you know you are going to heaven. But what about right now? Connecting the riches of Christ to the realities of life. Let’s take our example from the first and second … Read more
A series on the topic of Anger. Kinda funny, kinda sad too, and probably familiar to some people out there who are married. Eighteen years ago on my wedding day, I was standing at the altar looking down the aisle at my beautiful bride. I thought to myself, “Wow, this is great! I love me … Read more
A series on the topic of Anger. Wouldn’t it be nice if your anger was not so mysterious: Understanding yourself better, knowing the why’s, and anticipating the onset of anger? We will use our story from part 1 of this series – that angry outburst leaving the church parking lot after Sunday’s service – to … Read more
A series on the topic of anger. “Irritable man syndrome” has struck again this week. This time, after Sunday service, just a block from pulling out of the church parking lot. Angry outbursts directed towards your wife and witnessed by your young children. These recent outbursts of anger are even surprising you. You can no … Read more